Tarvala Sul'Morin Journal Entry 5

Hello Mr. Journal,

Just got done with a hot bath. Very hot… scaldingly so. I kept using my magicka to keep it hot enough I probably could have boiled myself some vegetables for dinner, if, you know, that wouldn’t be absolutely disgusting to eat bathtub food. Now, you ask me, why? Why would I feel the need to bathe in such hot water that my usual shade of blue skin was darkened by several shades like I got a sunburn? It was to feel clean again. Let me explain.

Siyo and I are on a mission, to suppress a khajiiti slave revolt. 400 of them escaped, 300 now at large, 200 of those are of fighting form and trained soldiers. We had feared that this force was going to come at the town and open up the path for the Dominion into our territory, force us to convert dunmeri and Pact forces away from the front lines. Thankfully, that does not seem to be the case. Though after what I saw? Sort of which that was the worst I had to have witnessed.

No, we interrogated a prisoner. My first, actually. I was nervous of course but, something happens when on put on that visage. Day to day, in the past, I never feel like I’m good enough, like I don’t measure up. Always second guessing everything I do or say. Replaying it over and over again in my head at night. Who I might have unintentionally insulted, who insulted or made fun of me. I hate it, I try not to but, the past creates us, even if the future is open.

When I put that visage on though, when I wear that gold and blue armor. There is nothing but clarity and my self doubt washes away. I know what I have to do, I don’t have time to hold back, because if I do, someone could die. Not just me, but my comrades in arms or civilians. With that mask I feel like I’m the person I always wished I could be.

It was like that with the interrogation. Siyo did much of the punishment, he did good as well. Lots of folding up his tail like sausage casing, squeezing the meat and breaking bones as he went from the tip down. I saw fear in his eyes, the Khajiit. Not just at the pain, but my promise to him if he had lied to me. I threatened that if he had lied to us, that whatever gods or daedra he worshipped wouldn’t want the tattered, twisted, and shredded remains of his soul in the afterlife. That his loved ones wouldn’t recognize the sad pathetic piece of meat that remained, in this life and the next. …. He believed me. Fully, I think… I meant what I said, even if I didn’t know what I’d do to keep my word, but I would keep my word.

I didn’t take joy in it, it wasn’t my pride or trying to show off, it was just what I felt had to be done, to do my duty, to keep that town and our people safe. It didn’t even feel like it was me talking, it just .. flowed.

As it turns out, he wasn’t lying, so far. He let us know there was a mole. The traitorous kind, not the naked ugly things in the ground that try and twist your ankle by digging in the dirt. Just for clarification, Mr. Journal. We thought it would be an officer or some noble. So we went back to informed the Lordling, Relur. He got the position of leadership after his own father was killed in the revolt. He wasn’t there. Went off on his own.. Unguarded.
See where this is going? Trust me, you don’t, it’s actually far worse and goes back to the scalding hot water. Siyo and myself take off on a border patrol. Finding a dug out tunnel I’d collapsed once already, filled again with flint boxes. Also, footprints… Siyo has a really good eye. Last time he even spotted an archer I couldn’t make out from the leaves. Anyway, we followed those.

About fifteen minutes later, well outside of the town and its protective walls we see… you guessed it, the Lordling Relur. Casually walking without a care in the world off the trail and near enemy territory where the slaves are camped. Relieving himself on a tree, he didn’t see us and proceeded to a bridge, then under it, not over it. Siyo and I separated, each of us covering the end of the tunnel that formed under the bridge.

We heard the voices, a few words at first, and realized fully, he was the more and the traitor.. Three help me, why couldn’t that have been all there was? What do I speak of you ask? Well, it turns out the slave leader Ri’kaan, wasn’t a man… but a female khajiit. They spoke of the dangers of them meeting like this… then there was cooing, purring noises… then smacking and sucking noises, then grunting and heaving panting noises…. I lost it.

I came from around the corner, weapons in hand. They were half undressed, hands groping and, well, petting each other. I swear before I interrupted them with words, she was LICKING HIS HAIR, like a house cat does! It was one of the worst things I’ve seen…. And I recently had a deadra place skinless demons with screaming children skins for clothing pushed into my brain.

I said something, I don’t remember, I was in such shock but close was, “Okay, I can’t take this anymore. You are an abomination! That’s like making out with a house cat! Do you even know which of the six nipples to twist or do you just guess and hope it gets her purring?” Unintentionally, the shock of the arrival and the statement, I think, just left them stunned. They never even reached for a weapon. I knocked her out with my made, and Siyo got the, now Ex-Lord, in the same state.

We carried them back to town and let all the people know what had happened, so he could not garner support. I left them unclothed as we carried, so that they’d see them as they were dressed… or not, when we got there. Khajiit are furry everywhere. A 20 minutes walk back with fur spotted ass cheek right near my face. Just bouncing and giggling and this stupid tail poking out where the crack ends. I don’t need to know this much about Khajiiti anatomy.

We have them now in a cell to question and then to help repel the incoming swarm. Which is actually only going to be 50 fighters that will battle, as we are told. So that the rest can escape over the border.

But that’s the story. Up to now anyway. Why it was I felt the need to bath in such hot water… sadly, I can’t pour it into my brain and burn out the visions. I’m a bit shy about such things like love making but… ugggggg…. And yes, I just spelled out ugggg. It’s seriously that bad.

I have another story, about drinking (I DRANK!) with Dralyna and Tali… but I promised not to talk about details to anyone, even you, Mr. Journal, sorry. A promise is a promise. But it was good to feel normal around other people, not to be judged and to just… have fun.

Oh, also, the Magistrix said she’d teach me how to be courtly! I can’t believe she’d even waste her time with me but.. I was so excited I picked her up when I hugged her. She probably already regrets it but, if she gives up, that will be okay too, she’s a busy person. Just the offer is an honor.

But for now, I’m going to get to bed. G’night, Mr. Journal.