Tarvala Sul'Morin Journal Entry 3

Hello Mr. Journal,

It’s been a bit, but I’ve been very busy. Great news first! I’m an Initiate and took my first vows! My hands were shaking I was so excited as I listened to High Ordinator Rajere say the words and go over the story of the Saint Neravar and Alm. It was short notice as I’d passed my test of Mercy a few days earlier but Ivulhe showed up and so did another Ordinator Rir. Not many, but Ivulhe was there and … she hugged me after I teased her. When she made initiate Rajere had told her to “Stand and embrace your Brothers and Sisters” Which, she did, literally. Hugging and embracing all those gathered until the High Ordinator cleared his throat and told her it wasn’t meant to be literal.

I noticed he has since changed that last line. Anyway, she did it all the same. She’s a good friend, my first real friend since I was a little girl and before I started to grow larger than the others and the rumors they started to spread that I was half nord or orc and scorned me. I should let it go but to this day I still don’t really like kids. I mean, I don’t wish harm on them or anything but, I never know what to do with them…. Or like being near them… or listening to them.

Anyway, the visage is taking some getting used too. It cuts back on the visual range by a bit, but the protection it affords is worth the trade. I trained in heavy armor plenty, so that’s no big deal, and the fit is amazing. Other than the weight itself, my range of movement is fantastic. Even with the greatsword from fallen Ordinator Reylin that set me on this path. I much prefer the greatsword and now that I’m an Initiate I can request to use it in combat! I have to prove my skills with it first though, not sure how that works but I imagine it will include a spar with another Ordinator or a field test. I welcome either, anything so that I may better serve ALMSIVI and protect my Brothers and Sisters the better.

Of which, I’ve been getting to know some better. Samel, Kanara, who isn’t is an Acolyte but still always coming on missions when able and very useful, and of course Ivulhe. One I still haven’t gotten to understand is High Ordinator Lilelle. In many ways she’s one to be admired and even envied in her strength but in others, I believe she needs the grace and peace of ALMSIVI to calm her anger. Everything she says and does is a confrontation with all those around her, even the other High Ordinator. Less so with the Commander, but even there at times she’s just so.. Intense. She definitely keeps me on my toes and her skills.. She’s definitely Telvanni, not doubts there. She makes portals the same way some people blow their nose. I wonder if she’d be willing to help me with that. My portals are always unstable and once, at Temple, I opened one to a nearby lake shore, only it was in the middle of the lake… twenty feet up. That was not a good week, our Magistrix passed through first.

Ok, it’s a little funny now, she was horrible, nothing like Magistrix Sebaya is. She was a vile, petty, woman who was only after her own self interests, sometimes I think even before the Three’s.

Then there’s Samel. I don’t get him, he’s lead by passion and gets himself into situations time and again rushing into a fight that should require thought and tactics. It’s almost got him killed on at least two separate occasions I’ve seen. He has a good heart and it’s in the right place but I worry it is going to take a death to temper his will, and more so, I worry it won’t just be his own.

Kanara I’ve also gotten to speak with. He’s very strange in a lot of ways. Kind, but strange, he’s Telvanni as well though, so, that’s to be expected. They are a very talented but eccentric lot, that House. I have learned a great deal from him though, in his classes. I’m not as fast on the uptake as many but with his step by step instructions, I actually do rather well with some practice after the fact! I can breath water, though I do not like it at all, walk on it, which was only a variation of the floating spell, and also swim quickly almost like one of those filthy argonians! Also how to dispel a few different barrier wards!

I practice some of the spells in my time before bed or when I need to give my muscles a rest.

Then of course, Ivulhe. I felt for her, she accidently killed a mother and a child, sure they were Khajiit but even when you kill a dog and her pups it still can bother you. Clearly it affected her a great deal after the fact. Maybe she’s known some of them and has thought of them like real people? I’m not sure. I’ve never had much interaction with such races outside of slave pens and servants and a handful of “free” merchants around Morrowind. Anyway, I sat with her and spoke while she processed. She seems to be better about it now at least, though I suppose somethings only make you dull inside.

I wonder if that is what happened to Lilelle? One to many missions of seeing things people shouldn’t have to see and then she just, shut it off, so that she could continue to serve? I’ll probably never know, but speculation keeps the mind sharp I suppose.

Anyway, Mr. Journal, it’s time to get some breakfast and start the day. ALMSIVI in every hour!